


In Love

by oxygenlove



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-05
Updated: 2011-12-05
Packaged: 2017-10-26 23:05:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oxygenlove/pseuds/oxygenlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jiyong falls. Hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Love

**Author's Note:**

> With the special appearance of Kwon Jiyong's imaginary girlfriend.

There are some things that Jiyong regrets - not recording that catchy beat while it was still in his head, not writing down that witty line while he still remembers it, not going to that awesome party he was invited to last week, not meeting that amazing person the others were talking about since yesterday - it’s all of these and more.

> “Going to her place?”
> 
> “For a while.”

He’s got his fingers tangled in her hair. She smells like lilac, fresh and sweet. She’s soft and pliant against his side. She’s pretty, gorgeous, beautiful. She’s ethereal - a _goddess_. She’s one of the many that Jiyong has fallen in love with and in a matter of months, will be one of the many that Jiyong fell out of love with. He doesn’t plan any of these, doesn’t anticipate the loss of heat and hurried fingers on skin. He’s not playing with any of these girls’ hearts. It never was his intention to lure them in and have them by his side for the time frame that they make him feel giddy, nervous -  _on a high._ And in the end, leave them when they run out dry.

Her head’s on Jiyong’s lap as he speaks over the soft low hum of the television. She’s got a knowing smile as she listens to Jiyong’s stories. She laughs at all the right moments. She’s a wonderful listener. Apparently, she’s also an amazing observer.

“I hope you talk about me this way too.”

“Hahahaha-  _what_?

“I hope that when you talk to your friends, you also tell them stories about me, about us. And that when you describe how I looked, your eyes would also sparkle coupled with that stupid smile on your face.”

“I - “

“I hope I can make you laugh like this. I hope I can make you happy like this.”

Jiyong catches her hand as she’s standing up, a look of worry on his face. Is she angry? Why would she be? There is an unnameable tone in her voice, on her face.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Yes, I am. I’m being ridiculous. Because honestly, why would I be feeling like this over Seungri?”

“You know how we are. He’s my dongsaeng and - “

” - and you treat him like he’s everything to you.”

” - and he’s important to me.”

 _Pause._

“How important am I to you?”

“Very.”

“Not as important as Seungri, I bet.”

“You’re not playing fair.”

“Love never is fair.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“I thought you were.”

“ _I am._ I am in love.”

“But not with me.”

“No - not like - “

“Never with me.”

—

There are some things that Jiyong regrets - getting too close he can almost touch, caring too much he almost scars, wishing too much he almost bleeds dry, believing too much he almost thinks it’s real, loving too much he almost fools himself to think otherwise - all of these and more.

> “Hyung, sometimes, I think you aren’t really in love.”
> 
> “Then what, Seungri? What do you think this is?”
> 
> “I think you’re in love with the idea of being in love. I think you love the idea of loving someone and being loved in return - “
> 
> “You think you’re so smart - “
> 
> ” - that you forget the most important part of being in love is - “
> 
> ” - when all you really are is - “
> 
> ” - simply  _feeling_.”
> 
> ” - annoying.”

Jiyong’s got his fingers tangled in his hair. Seungri smells like sweat from dancing too much. He’s sticky and solid against Jiyong’s side but Jiyong doesn’t care. They’re laughing and smiling and sharing tired old stories they’ve recounted a million times before. Seungri looks tired from all the hours they’ve spent cooped up in the dance studio, rehearsing and rehearsing and rehearsing until they get it perfectly right. It doesn’t matter though. Jiyong can see themselves doing the same thing years and years down the road. Always the same. Will never get old. Will never get tired of. Because the wonderful feeling that Jiyong feels when he’s with Seungri isn’t boxed in one time frame. There is no expiration date to how long Jiyong will need the happy feeling that Seungri gives him.

“Hyung…”

“Ssshhhh…”

“Hyung this isn’t… what it should be, right?”

“No, this isn’t what it can be.”

“What is it then?”

“It’s… simply  _feeling,_ Seungri. Simply feeling.”

Because Jiyong has some things that he regrets, and Seungri is one of them.


End file.
